WHEN SMARTENING UP GOES STUPID: CHOPPER'S SUIT

Another contributor to this collateral trading-up is the maturation of the contemporary male’s taste level. The style-conscious male man has graduated from the high-fashion suit’s two-year cycle of disposability toward something with a longer life expectancy, and thus, value.” Alan Flusser, ‘Dressing The Man’, 2002

I’m a solid ni**a. A hundred percent. A tall-ass gangsta. That what I am. A tall-ass gangsta. Look at me ni**a. A real boss ni**a…I’m great. I’m extravagant.” Chopper City, 2009

When former Diddy reality TV underling Chopper City decided to make a video calling out his rap opponents and establish his boss credentials last March, it’s safe to assume that he didn’t see the implications of his oversized suit on the horizon. Worldstarhiphop.com can be unmerciful at the best of times. A hotbed of goonery, footage of Rawse’s boy Gunplay acting the tit and webcam addresses, it’s deeply addictive stuff, but the e-roasting that Chopper received acts as a cautionary tale when an attempt at smart dressing gets stupid. David Byrne in ‘Stop Making Sense’? The boy at the end of ‘Big’? Way too obvious.

Over 3 months, the Worldstar comedians came out in force, offering some of the most esoteric yet fitting (as opposed to the vast shoulders of the sartorial subject matter) reference point. They came to a close in June 2009 – not helped by crackers unleashing some misfires. The funniest thing ever on the internet? After a compilation of talking animal clips, yes indeed. There’s few more joyous sights than a veritable festival of mockery, and with 6,324 replies, it brought the geniuses out to play. This was a bonafide mini-meme, and the YouTube parodies were plentiful. It actually made Chopper more memorable than he ever was before, yet one senses that this wasn’t some genius marketing scheme. All it took was the first comment from a guest poster, “If choppa don’t get his missy elliot “i can’t stand the rain ” wearin suit a** outta here…(sic)” to unleash a tide of superior badly tailored reference points…

“Old Carl Thomas I’ll never be the same again suit”
“HE’S WEARING A COT DAMN COACHES SUIT LOL”
“Old Joe Clark Lean On Me suit”
“Old Tommy Davidson “Strictly Business” suit”
“OLE WESLEY SNIPES I NEVER LIKED YO PRETTY A** ANYWAY NEW JACK CITY SUIT WEARING A**””
“He sounds mad stupid, grow up you stupid azz!Why is he dressed like Morris Day on Easter Sunday?”
“OL HAKEEM OLAJUWON ON DRAFT DAY SUIT WEARING A** NICCA”
“Ole “5 Heartbeats Eddy Cane” suit lookin boy!!!”
“Ole Blame it on the rain suit lookin boy”
“Ol’ Deion Sanders “Must Be The Money” video shoot suit wearing looking boy”
“Old Rodney King ” Cant we all just get along” press conference suit”
“Ol Tommy Wright III “Feel Me Before They Kill me” floating above the casket suit wearin azz n*gga”
“OLE PATRICK EWING 1985 FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK SUIT A** F*** BOIIIIIIIIII LOLLL”

Most memes are about as funny as an anal fissure in a matter of days. The Chopper City affair? Still hilarious. Wandering through the streets of Bed-Stuy last week, a few $99 suits in the same vein were spotted. In a 12:59, barely-watchable tirade, the cackling hangers-on, squalid home setting and that vast polyester silhouette is comedy perfection. For years, post-Master P, the vast grey or beige suit has come out to play frequently without comment. Something had to give. Flicking through Alan Flusser’s ‘Dressing The Man’, Chopper breaks every rule that Alan reinforces. There’s something oddly admirable about that. Anyone else remember Flusser popping shots at Thom Browne in a similar, albeit faintly more fitted, manner for a spot of fashion beef back in 2006?

To commemorate a year of Chopper’s suit, here’s some big shoulder bangers and their associated roast remark…

“You ol’ “ralph tresvant can you stand the rain suit ass muthaf***a”

“1996 Chauncey from Black Street “Dont Leave Me” suit.”

“Ol Slick Rick riding the bus in the “Teenage Love” video suit”

“Old Positive K ” I got a man” club suit”

“Old 1988 Johnny Kemp “Just Got Paid” suit”

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